What Do Women Want?

An ABC News headline succinctly summed up the the conundrum surrounding a local Emmy award-winning newscaster in the Sacramento region:

TV Reporter Sabrina Rodriguez Accused in Handbag Shoplifting Plot

Ironically, the charges of theft brought against Ms. Rodriguez is in great  contrast with stories she reported on re: the dangers of shoplifting and how it affects the local community.

As bad as this press is for Ms. Rodriguez and her professional image & career, this wasn’t what peaked my interested when I read the article in my local newspaper, The Sacramento Bee.

Notwithstanding the awful state of these allegations brought against Ms. Rodriguez (and the fact that the people whom she worked with/for - the media - really threw her under the “newsvan” on this one) but note that she and her EX-FIANCÉ (bolded and capitalized to bring attention to)

…conspired in a brazen shoplifting scheme that…netted $200,000 in merchandise in a two-month span, according to court records.

Okay, so Ms. Rodriguez hooks up with this guy and they attempt to commit some pretty outrageous and ostentatious crimes and were (supposedly) caught. 

Pretty bad eh?  The rabbit hole goes deeper.

Rodriguez is out on $10,000 bail, while the ex-fiancé, Nicholas Gray, remains in the Sacramento County jail facing charges of grand theft, burglary and conspiracy, as well as charges of drug possession and manufacture and causing a blaze that destroyed the couple’s south Sacramento home in May. Court records indicate the blaze and explosion were caused by Gray manufacturing hash oil from marijuana.


Court records show Gray, 30, has prior convictions for burglary, resisting an executive officer, felony stalking and felony transportation of marijuana.

It appears that Mr. Gray had (a few) run-ins with the law prior to this big one involving Ms. Rodriguez.  Clearly, he is not a saint.  But that’s not even the point.

Had enough?  No?  Well here’s the icing on the cake:

Court records also quote him as admitting “that while he was in college (approximately 10 years ago) he committed a home invasion robbery where he used a gun to steal a rival drug dealer’s marijuana. The defendant also admitted committing numerous additional residential burglaries.”

It’s pretty clear that Ms. Rodriguez is a hard-working, intelligent young woman who once had an incredible future ahead of her in broadcast journalism.

And that really baffled me when I read/heard that she was not only brought up on these charges, but involved and ENGAGED with a man with a jaw-dropping rap sheet (and he continues to be so shamefully proud of his “accomplishments”!)

One would think that all the warning signs were in place and that these kinds of things would come to light (to some degree)…enough to tell any gal to get out of Dodge with this kind of guy before participating in a committed, exclusive relationship (much less even giving him a second thought).

So then the question must be asked…within the context of romantic relationships, what is it that women want? 

Because clearly…personal intelligence, education, and vocational success are not the silver bullets to safeguard against poor romantic choices & decisions.

Feedback desired & requested!!!

All I really need is the man

Note: This is the 10-year anniversary of a post originally composed as a SPOOF to a friend’s “how-to” on how to attract a girl’s attention.  Read on and enjoy! (and perhaps learn a little bit, too)


My friend and I were musing over her dilemma of not having a man… As we were talking, I exclaimed, “You don’t flirt!” I went on to tell her how important flirting was to connect to a man. Then I gave her some tips on how to do it. Single women, here are freebies for you! The only caveat is… you actually have to be genuine. These aren’t “gimmicks.”

1. Laugh when he is telling you stories or jokes…even cheesy ones.
"hahahahahahahaha." Now, I know women rarely know when a man says something witty or important. However, the point is that you let the man know you are noticing him and think he is smart. You do not have to specify what you’re noticing.
Other examples:
"giggle giggle giggle."

2. Complement and affirm your future man.
"you are really smart, how do you know all that?"
"you’re pretty good at…" or "you are really funny."
"Thank you for helping me/with…"

Again… no need to be super specific. If the guy asks, what do you mean, just say “it’s hard to explain… it’s just how I feel, you know?” The “well maybe I am just a smart girl” thing is golden. The goal is to try to make your relationship a cut above the rest, that you two share a special connection. That you look to him as a special friend.

3. Try to develop in-jokes and in-language.
This one is a little harder. If you and a guy both find something funny, take advantage of that and bring it into future conversations. Quality relationships are about having a common “center.” Like visiting the John Deer factory, or playing Texas Hold em, or watching American Chopper. Sometimes I give ***yeah, you will never guess*** the look and she finds it hilarious so she’ll try to say things that will provoke me to give her the look. We also developed our own rules to the game of bloody knuckles.

4. Be knowledgeable in something cool.
If you can talk about something intelligent without sounding like you’re don’t know what you are talking about, then you are on your way to being a hopeless romantic. Guys dig this. Something intelligent is defined as something the man would be interested in knowing about. So that depends on the man. Make sure you give off the interested yet nonchalant feel.

5. Use the “look” and the “smile.” If you don’t have one, develop one. If you have one, refine it.
It is a skill to be able to hold a man’s gaze without making him feel creeped out. Wearing makeup helps this endeavor to no end. However, in gazing make sure you keep enough personal space. Getting too close to a guy too quickly is a definite negative. Let him lead in closing the personal space, but the girl should take initiative in giving the “look”. Try to communicate your interest through your smile and eyes.

The smile… I don’t know how to describe it but everyone has a smile they reserve for people they are attracted to. Some people have the “always smile” but they don’t know it so they attract people without meaning to. If you don’t get it, I’ll perform it for you sometime although it may take me a couple seconds as I may not really be attracted to you. I’ll have to imagine you as ***keep guessing*** or something.

6. Love God and let your light shine to all those around you.
There is nothing more attractive to a serious Christian man than a serious Christian woman. If you have your eyes set on a quality man, order your life in such a way so that you are actively learning about God, and constantly living in Christ’s calling. This one is hard, because it is the one thing you can’t do for your man, you have to do it for God, but it absolutely essential for your desired relationship’s long-term health. To see this more completely, begin to see your obedience to Christ as building up your man. I have much more confidence in a girl’s love for me if I see she is first and foremost committed wholly to God.

P.S.: If you like a guy and are wondering if he likes you back, be patient: if the guy likes you he will make it clear.

Sometimes, they don’t.


In future posts, I will examine burping and farting girls. I’ll analyze why they don’t work and how you can weave it into your life.

All credit for this theme should be given to Peggy Kao Enderle for her original entry.

All the above views are not necessarily those of M. Tang or N. Cole…but they could be. ;)

And Mang-o was her name, O!

So some of you who know me have noticed that I often call the guys mang (or sometimes “meng” if I’m lazy).  I’ve been told that it’s the word for “man” in Tagolog.  There are very reliable sources that prove that this indeed is true.

I never address the sisters as such because, although it is not disrespectful, it is not really endearing either.  However, yesterday changed all that.

When I was donating blood at the local blood bank, I was signaled by one of the phlebotomists who had an open station.  As I took a seat, she greeted me by saying

"Hi, I’m Mang."

I couldn’t believe it.  Even though there are some pretty wild names in the Asian culture, I didn’t know it was used as a name (much less a woman being named “Mang”). 

I will admit it was difficult for me to contain myself due to my excitement.  But I remained calm, cool, and collected (and even drained that pint of blood in a whopping six minutes!  But I digress…)

As things wrapped up I couldn’t hold it in any longer.

Thanks MANG!!!

And thus concludes my little story about Mang, the phlebotomist.

Resolved, Revisted

As a nostalgic at heart, it would be uncharacteristic of me to keep from reflecting upon one of the most poignant moments in my life as a believer - the Resolved Conference.  Specifically, Resolved 2006.

Upon the encouragement of my sister, three UCD friends and I braved an old beater (but trusty) vehicle down Interstate 5 to attend the 2nd annual conference.  The 2006 conference would call the beautiful Pasadena Civic Auditorium “home” during the MLK weekend.

It was memorable for many reasons.  Heard 10 heavy sermons in four days, met several new people whom I would later come to treasure, and developed a love-hate relationship with Islands.  But the one pivotal moment was hearing C. J. Mahaney introduce a concept that I had never considered before.  It was the common saying in countless testimonies that I have heard over the years (and even a contemporary Christian band had popularized this):


Tis simply not true.  Contrary to popular belief, it’s the very last thing any one of us remotely wants to do in our fallen human state.  A graphic illustration that C. J. provided was that of one “running away as fast as one can from Christ”.

This caused me to look up from my note taking.  Actually, it was more like an abrupt halt.  Me?  Not finding Jesus?  Then how did I come to know Christ?  And what about what I had been doing for Him all these years?  Totally in vain?  Surely, not everything I had heard in the past about choosing Christ and accepting Jesus into my heart was completely wrong…or was it? 

I know it doesn’t sound as romantic to hear that the believer neither chose Jesus nor entered into a relationship with Jesus Christ.  Although there are elements of truth of the previously mentioned statements, it cannot the complete testament of the professing believer.  For one, it’s really not about the one being saved, but the one who SAVES. 

Most Valuable College Course

As a member of the world’s largest professional network and having joined a number of different groups, I get many emails when constituents post various questions & comments to new discussions.  Most have to do with vocational development, tips on how to succeed, or yes, jobs I may be interested in.

Most of them I ignore as it is too much to keep up with.  However, in a petroleum group that I am with apart of, the following question was recently posed:

What was the most valuable course you took in college? Why?

It’s a good question.  Most people try to plow through their major and not really sit back and consider what has provided them the highest value (and not just an “easy-A” to boost the GPA and get to the next level).

Most people posted highly technical classes, such as organic chemistry or thermodynamics, with the occasional communication class sprinkled in between (mine was “Interpersonal Communication” - CMN 134 for the UCD folks). 

However, one post in particular was most poignant.  It was submitted by Robert Lannom, P.E., a petroleum professional from the Houston area.

The Engineering courses at Texas Tech required at least one course in a “Humanity”.  I took a class called “Courtship and Marriage”, which was my best college course, as I have been happily married to the same lady for 39 years now!  She was also in the class.

(I wonder if Steve Lawson knew this guy?  Dr. Lawson was a student as well as quarterback at Texas Tech, however a Business Administration major).

I tried to explore his profile to see if there was any indication of religiosity.  None could be found (and perhaps rightfully so - the site is intended for professional purposes).

Whether or not this gentleman is a follower of Christ, I was pleasantly surprised and encouraged.  That he would not only “condescend” to take a soft science class (that most of us engineers and scientists would often scoff at - though admittedly it was arequirement) but also see this class as valuable because he met his wife there…and continues to be happily married! 

Mr. Lannom definitely took the road less traveled as most lauded classes that helped them advance in their education and career.  Instead of boasting in his highly evident professional credentials & successes, he has disclosed in short and simple words such tender affection for his wife as the paragon of his life’s accomplishments, the treasure of his heart, the apple of his eye.

Perhaps one day I can be like Mr. Lannom in this way.

All I really need is the man

In reflection of today’s marriage between my dear friends Lindsey & Derek…

A free gift to my sisters!

(not quite Romans 6:23 good, but it’s real close)

This is (was?) written as encouragement, especially to those who despair that they may just end up living the rest of their natural lives without a helpmate that they can cherish and grow old with.

At the original time of composition, neither Sir Cole nor Uncle Tang were dating, much less had anyone in mind to pursue.  So they really had little idea on the implications and effect this would have.  However, the 100% success rate of this tried-and-true method to “get the man” is a clear demonstration that if you, dear sister, follow these six simple steps YOU TOO can be on the road to catching the eye of a righteous and upright man. :)

(not to mention the 8 year, 1 month anniversary to the day and time! of the original post “All I really need is the man” on LiveJournal)


Porkchop & (not so) Silent KayKay Strike Back

If you are a faithful reader to my occasional blog posts, you’ll recall a somewhat recent encounter with some neighbors I met.  After nearly two months, I saw all the kids (Nick, Braden - also known as Porkchop, and Katelyn - with nickname KayKay) outside their home tonight and decided to stop by to say hello as they were putting on the finishing touches on washing the family minivan.

The highlight of my discourse went something like this:


Porkchop: Yeah, I had a girlfriend once.

Me: And what is your age?

Porkchop: 9.

Me: What did you do?

Porkchop: Oh, I went over to her house and had dinner.

Then she dumped me.


Katelyn: How did you get dumped?

Me: ????

Katelyn: Into the ocean.  You said you got dumped into the ocean once.


Katelyn: How old are you again?

Me: 29.

Katelyn: You can get married at your age!  Why aren’t you married?

Me: I know.  You know your [LDS] neighbor across the street?  She is my age and has four kids already.  It’s just different for different people!

Katelyn: What’s so hard about it?  You need to get married.  Find a pretty girl…and then get married. START TOMORROW!!!


And she said it in such a sweet 5-year old voice, too :)

Katelyn is the real deal.  Indeed, our previous conversation was not a fluke. 

Perhaps I’ll go over for some more overpriced lemonade later this week (perhaps with a dozen famous chocolate chip cookies in hand, too) and investigate where/how she comes up with these amazing insights from.

If she is a glimpse of the future of America, then there may actually be some hope.  Or perhaps she is just a statistical outlier.  But we need more of her :D

What a difference (nearly) a year makes.

(click on the photos to see detailed captions)

How to Save Gas

Today we’re deviating from heartfelt musings to something a little more practical.

As you know, the price of gasoline (for a myriad of reasons) is skyrocketing.  I’m sure there are numerous articles available detailing how to get more mileage out of a tank of gas.  But here are a few tips I will gladly share to you:

  • Make sure your tires are properly filled.  The inside portion of the driver’s door should have the specs on how much to fill the front and rear tires.  This can provide a gas savings up to 20% (somebody said that…somewhere)
  • Drive between 55-65 mph on the highway.  Also, no rapid acceleration if you can help it.
  • Change your air filter.  It is located under the hood.  A maximum investment of $15 can go a long ways for 15,000 miles (the frequency of changing out air filters, depending on driving conditions & environment).  Sometimes it is difficult to access so if you are a girl, do not be bashful to pull a brother aside to help you change it out.
  • While you’re at it, change the cabin air filter.  Fresh air into the engine (from the aforementioned point) should warrant fresh air coming into the vehicle, right?  So for your own health, treat yourself to a new cabin air filter :D
  • Have enough oil in the engine.  Don’t make your engine work unnecessarily harder than it has to by having low oil.  Jiāyoú!  Keep 1-2 extra bottles of same-grade oil (should be the same weight as that currently in your engine too) in your trunk for good measure.  Don’t know how to check the oil level?  Ask a brother.  He should know.
  • Don’t drive around with excess weight.  So if you don’t need it in your car, don’t keep it in there.  This includes pallets of water, heavy tools/materials, etc.  But keep the essentials in case of emergency (oil, drinking & radiator H2O, blankets).

There are urban myths about drafting, driving with your windows up, and not using A/C.  I doubt these work.  In fact I think they were stories made up by Chinese people to make themselves “think” that these tactics serve some good when they really don’t.  At any rate, I still do them (to a moderate degree). 


Out of the Mouths of Babes

This afternoon I passed by a simple lemonade stand one block from my residence.  Upon parking, I decided to walk back and pick up an over-sugared, grossly overpriced cup of summer.  It was also a good opportunity to meet some neighbors - a practice that I had been neglecting ever since I started living in the neighborhood.

The kid running the stand was a 7 year old named Braden (nicknamed “Porkchop” - he certainly lived up to his name!).  He introduced me to his two siblings, Nick (older brother) and Katelyn (younger sister), both of whom exhibited more maturity than their price gouging brother.

It was a good time.  I spent over an hour talking to the kids, and eventually meeting their mom.  I immensely enjoyed my interaction with Katelyn, who is in preschool.  Here are two noteworthy snippets of our time together (when she wasn’t running around me trying to hide from being chased by Braden):


Katelyn: How old are you?

Me: How old do you think I am?

Katelyn: 88


Katelyn (overhearing from another neighbor about my age): You’re 28?

Me: Yes.

Katelyn: Are you married?

Me: (smiling) No, I’m not.

Katelyn: Why not?

Me: I guess it’s not the right time.

Katelyn: How come?  Don’t you want to be married?


I think I will be back visiting that family again very soon :)